Delving+Into+Diaries

Directions:
 * Write the diary entry of any of the people who appear in //Perek Aleph// (Chapter 1) of //Shmuel Aleph// (Samuel I).
 * The diary must be at least 15 lines and must present a clear picture of the person's feelings and reactions to the events of the perek.
 * Writing as that person, you must also write a response of at least 5 lines to the diary entry of one of your classmates, in which you comment on the person's remarks--whether you agree or disagree, or whether you sympathize or want to criticize.
 * You must respond to an entry that has not yet received a response. However, for extra credit, you may also respond to additional entries and responses.
 * At the beginning of your entry, type the character's name, and, in parentheses, type your Hebrew name and the first initial of your last name.
 * Leave a space or create a line between entries and between responses.

Pennina (Rivka T.)

I have always had certain contempt for my husbands other wife, Hannah. It did not seem fair to me that she was the favorite when she was not capable of bearing him anything of importance, such as a son. I admit that on many occasions I attempted to lower her self esteem, but only because she was lowing mine. What was so amazing about this “Hannah” that I didn’t have? What made her more lovable than me even though she had absolutely no children? I did not understand it, and I do not think I ever will. Having sons was something I always had above Hannah, even though she had everything else. I held it above her head, teasing her, never letting her know that I was inferior to her, or that I knew I was inferior to her. My ability to bear children was what I grasped onto when I felt the pain of being spurned by my husband for another. When Hannah became pregnant, I went numb. It was a sign to me that everything was lost, that now nothing would keep me tied to the man I love. I’m still not sure what will happen to me, now that I had nothing above Hannah. I am terrified for my life, because now Hannah has Elkana holding onto her every word and if she so much as hints that she dislikes me; I will be cast away because there is no use for me anymore. Much as I hate Hannah, I still feel that she is at heart a good person and will not throw me out. However, if she does, then I am lost. Being husbandless and fatherless at my age was almost a carved in stone death sentence. What will happen to me now? I suppose only time can tell.

Elkana (Dan C.) Response to Pennina (Rivka T.) Dear Panina, I have only been doing these things to boost Hannah's self esteem. Did you really think i would love my barren wife more than the mother of my children? You have been my favorite all along. I saw that you and Hannah didn't get along very well so i decided not to tell you because you may have brought it up in one of your fights. Now that Hannah is no longer barren I will show you and her how I favor you and you will have glory over her. Love, Elkana

Elkanah (Atan E.) (response to Rivka T.) Dear Diary, I have found out how Pennina feel. I think that she ought to know straight from me that I love Hannah more. She is right about me casting her away. Only her sons and their hard work is keeping her here. She can’t cook as well as Hannah or dress as well as Hannah, but I need her sons to work for me. I also believe that I am a kind soul and I can’t cast her away. She was also very rude to Hannah about not having children. I know Hannah would never upset Pennina on purpose. Pennina just has to lower her standards of her self. I am not sure whether or not to tell Pennina all of the ways that Hannah is better. I suppose something are just better left unsaid. O my! I forgot to tell you one last thing. It seems Pennina wants more attention now. Good by Diary.

Elkanah (E. אתין) Dear Diary, I am worried about my favorite wife, Hannah, for she is barren. I feel horrible when I give many portions of food to my other wife, Pininah and her children and I only give one portion to Hannah. Every year when she goes up to pray to G-d she is mocked and laughed at!

**The Next Year**

Dear Diary, The worst has happened to my beloved Hannah. She got drunk and went insane while praying to G-d. She must have stopped at Moshe’s Tavern before going to pray and had a little too much wine. Now she won’t eat or drink because she says that if she fasts it might make the lord notice her prayer for children! Why does she think that this year is any different. O my! She is calling me now. Something important having to do with the doctor. I’ll write soon. Sorry it took me a year to write back. Nothing very exciting happened. Bye.

**The Next Day** Dear Diary, Remember yesterday when I had to leave because I was being called by Hannah. The doctor told her that she conceived. She didn’t go crazy after all. If her prayers come true then I will surely have a son. The only problem is he will be devoted to G-d forever. Well, bye. I am going to go think about a name for my son. Ethan always seemed like one of the greatest name. Maybe that is what I will name my little nazir!

**10 and a Half Months Later** Dear Diary, My son was born a month ago. I’m sorry I forgot about you journal. He is going to be taken to the temple tomorrow because he is devoted to G-d. We named him Samuel instead of Ethan. Although I wanted Ethan we named him Samuel which stands for devoted to G-d. I am the happiest man alive. I feel as happy as my ancestors were when they got to Israel after wandering in the desert. I am going to go say goodnight to my Samuel before he leaves tomorrow. I will be at work before they leave. Who knows what will happened next. I hope to write to you soon journal. Bye!

Elkhana (Shmuel H)   Diary response

Dear Journal, After many years I am looking back at the time when Shmuel was born. I never remember going to the doctor because I thought Channa was drunk. It was a bad accusation for Eli and I to make. I now realize exactly what happened on that day many years ago. I have returned to the temple at Shiloh every year since then. Shmuel has gotten older and all is well in my home.

Shmuel H.   Elkhana

Dear journal, Today was the first day of Pesach, and I took my family to Shiloh. We went in order to bring the Korban Pesach. When we got there, my wife Channa went to a corner and started praying. I don’t know what she was praying for. It was weird she was just standing in a corner and muttering quietly to herself. The Cohen thought she was drunk.

Dear Journal, Today is the first day of the New Year. It is also the day my son Shmuel was born. I have had many children, but Shmuel is the first of my favorite wife Channa. Now I know what she was praying for back in Shiloh. She prayed for a son. She got her wish and all is happy in my house.

Dear Journal, Today was the day I went to Shiloh again to bring the Korban Pesach. For the first time since our marriage, Channa refused to go. She said she didn’t want to bring Baby Shmuel to Shiloh. I don’t know what this is about, but hopefully Channa will come next year. Shmuel has grown quite a bit since his birth, but he is still very dependant on his mother. Hopefully soon, he will escort me to this wonderful yearly occasion. Hannah (Tali R)

Dear Diary, Elkanah’s other wife Pennina has been very mean to me. She has many sons and daughters but I cannot bear children. Every year when we go up to the temple at Shiloh Pennina teases me about being barren. It makes me feel terrible. But Elkanah said she is just jealous because I am his favorite. One year when we went up to the temple, Pennina teased me so much that I could not eat or drink. I was so hurt that when I tried praying to G-d nothing came out of my mouth. I tried to formulate the words but they were only coming from my heart. I prayed for a son so that Pennina would not tease me anymore. I decided to make a deal with G-d and told him that if he gave me a son I would devote him to G-d as a Nazir. G-d heard me and blessed me with a son. The day he was born was the happiest day of my life! But soon I will have to give him to G-d. I do not know what will happen next for my son but I hope he lives a good life. I will write in you again soon diary. Love, Hannah  Penninah (Rivkah T.) in response to Hannah (Tali R.)Dear diary,Today, even though I know it was not nice, I read Hannahs diary to see if she had any secrates to help me get closer to Elkhana. I was shocked to see that she was greatly offended by my teasing her. Of course I wanted her to be offended, she was the favorite while I was the one with sons, but the one cast aside. I had no idea that I hide my true feelings of jealousy so well from Hannah, though Elkhana did notice. I do not understand why Hannah was blessed with a child. I prayed very often to be the favorite and my prayers were never answerd. Now, Hannah has prayed and all of the sudden she is pregnant! Origionaly I thought my fate was the will of God, however now I fear it is a curse. Why am I destined to live my life always second best? I had an advantage and now Hannah has taken all of that from me. And she is happy! I do not think my prayers to God help, so I think I will stop. -Penninah  Hannah (Rafe) Dear Journal, It is I, your faithful visitor. Years ago I had a child whom I am very proud of however he must be given to the lord as I promised. I knew that this day would come however I did not know how hard it would be to give up my only child. That prayer I uttered in the temple was an act of desperation. I thought it would be better to have a child for only a couple of years than to not have one at all. However I was wrong. I did not imagine how attached I could get to this infant who cannot even speak back to me. I don’t know what to do. I could try to run away yet G-d would seek me out and punish me. My only option is to give up my boy for his life. Even so, maybe I will be able to see my child in the next world. That is what I must do. I will lend the future Nazir to the lord for his life. After that all I can do is hope to see him in the next life. Now I wonder if it was truly worth it to have that child. Some positives are that now Peninah won't be able to make fun of me and I might be able to see my son in the world to come. However who can say for sure that there is a world after this one. I know I'm supposed to believe and fear G-d and all that is told about him nevertheless I have my doubts. I have never seen him before nor have I met anyone who came back from the dead who could tell me what it was like. Although, who knows maybe there is a life after this. A negative of giving birth to samuel was giving him away. As I said earlier, I had no idea how attached I'd get to him. All in all, I think the reality of "the world to come" is the deciding factor as to whether or not it was a good idea to have samuel. sincerely, Hannah

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Dear Diary, (Talia P) I can't contain myself. I've been so jealous lately I just don't know what to do! I feel as if I don't measure up to my husbands other wife, Penina, because i bear no children. She has many, and I have none. I ask God time and time again to please grant me with the gift of a child, but I feel as if God is taking my prayer, and answering it in Penina's favor. I believe that she feels she needs to be cruel to me, all because Elkanah loves me. I sometimes lose self esteem, and wonder if he only pretends to care about me to insure that I won't leave him because I am a dissapointment. Love, Hannah Dear Diary, (Talia P) Finally God has heard my prayers and has granted me with the gift of a child! I went with Elkanah to pray and although i was praying with my heart, my lips were moving without sound. The high priest questioned my prayers, because apparently my kind of prayer was frowned upon here. Besides this, low and behold, I was pregnant. Once my child is born, he will be a hero, but once he is done nursing, i must give him away. To me, i would rather have a child for a short amount of time than no child at all Love, Hannah =====

Hannah(max s.)

Dear diary, I have felt bad these past years of being taunted, and having no children. Today when I went up to the house of the lord I said a prayer to the lord from my hart and the kohen thought I was drunk. What do the kohen thing I'm doing. I am praying through my heart and my lips were moving. Why else would I go up to the house of the lord, to be stupid. Today I feel a lot better though because I prayed to the lord for a male child. Then I felt better and I went home and I ate.

Next year

Dear diary, I feel great and I can not believe what just happened in the last year. The lord answered my prayer the day after I wrote to you and got a male son a couple months ago. I named him Samuel because his names means "I asked the lord for him". I did not weaned him so he could no go to the house of the lord and i told my husband, Elkanah, that I am not going to bring him to the house of the lord until I weaned him. Elkanah said to me to do what I think best. So after I weaned him I took him up to the house of the lord with the animals I needed to take. I told the lord and the kohen that what the lord did for me, I'm am going to give my son to the lord as a return. After that, everybody who was there bowed low before the lord. I felt pretty good after that.

Peninah (חוה w)

Dear diary, I am so upset. Why is it that Hannah's the favorite wife? I am the one who gave birth to all of Elkanah's children. I should be the favorite! Hannah is constantly complaining that she has no kids and acts like a baby. Well, of course she doesn't have any children, she acts like a baby! I don't know who to talk to about my overwhelming jealousy. I just saw Hannah sneak out to pray for children. If she has children, does that mean I am going to be nothing in my husband's heart. What should I do?

Hannah Sarah Response Peninnah, I do feel bad that you are upset that I am the favorite wife. Although I do feel that you deserve to feel bad. You make fun of me for not being able to have a baby while meanwhile you are just insecure yourself. Taking it out on me is not going to help you. If you just come talk to me about it I am sure that we can work everything out. Just as you have your children and I dealt with the jealousy you will have to deal with the jealousy if I have a child. I do not act like a baby and maybe if you did not have children than you would understand how I feel. Now you are the one acting like a child/ baby by feeling as if your should be the favorite and wish that I don't have children. That is just rude. You deserve to have jealousy, your mean and you also should have come to talk to me.

Hannah.

Next year

Dear diary, Hannah had a baby. I want to be happy for her because she is my sister wife, but I just can't. Elkanah has no time for me anymore and even more so than ever, it is all about Hannah. Yes the baby is beautiful, but so am I and so are my children. I just wish that he would show more love for me. I hate being the rejected wife. It makes me feel lousy. Hannah gets the position of favorite, and a son. And not just any ordinary son, a son of God! At least I used to have something that she didn't have, but nope. Not anymore. She took that away. too. Please give me some advice. I don't know what else I can do.

Love always, Peninah

Hannah (Daniel H.)(Response to Eva's)

Dear Peninnah,

I know that you are upset about how I am the favorite and that I have a son of God. I just have one thing to say to you about this. IN YOUR FACE! It is about time that you start feeling some feelings towards others besides yourself. You always taunt me about “How God closed my womb” but when God opened it out come a child of God. So next time you think about teasing me I can tease right back saying I am the favorite and I had the son of God.

From,

Hannah.

Eli (Shmuel c) Hello my name is Eli something very strange happened today. A woman by the name of Hannah came up to pray and when she moved he mouth nothing came out. So I asked her “How long will you make a drunken spectacle of yourself? Sober up!” and she replied “oh no, my lord! I am a very unhappy woman. But I have drunk no wine or other strong drink, but I have been pouring my heart out to the Lord. Do not take your maidservant for a worthless woman; I have only been speaking all this time out of my great anguish and distress.” Then I said “Then go in peace, and may the god of Israel grant you what you have asked for.” She answered “You are most kind to your handmaid.” I am still wondering what she meant by that. Eli out

Dear Eli, If you must know I was praying from my hart and saying my prayer through my lips. I was praying for a male child and promising the G-d that I would give my son to him as long as his life and I will make him a nazer. Why would anyone ever come to the house of the lord if they were drunk anyway. I am going through a hard time and on that day a was miserable. When you said "Then go in peace, and may the god of Israel grant you what you have asked for." made me feel better and I said "You are most kind to your handmaid". After that I felt better so I went home and I ate and at the end of the year I got a male child. How is that for a woman who you thought was drunk. I would more call this god answering a NON-drunk woman or a miracle.
 * response to Eli (Sam C.)** Hannah (Max)

Hannah(jenna o) Dear Diary, Today, again, I went to the holy temple to pray that I may give birth to a dear son. I prayed to g-d that I may have a son and that I may make I husband proud. Plus, it would be nice to get my husbands’ other wife to stop making fun of me which hurts even more. I told g-d that if he were to let me bear a son that I would make that son a Nazir; a servant to g-d. And that my son would never drink wine or cut his hair. I promised g-d that my holy son would be a servant to g-d for all the days of his life. I hop I give birth to this amazing child. I can only dream of what kind of miracles my son could perform for g-d. the man at the holy temple thought I was a drunk when I was praying since I was speaking no words, only thoughts to my g-d. Please, please let me have son…

RESPONDING TO HANNAH (Eva as Peninah responding to Jenna as Hannah)

Dear Hannah, I read your journal to see what sneaky plan you had up your sleeve to be mean to me for having kids when you don't have any. When I read your diary, I realized that you were never trying to hurt my feelings and you were hurt by me for making fun of you for not having children. I am going to start with an apology. I am so sorry for teasing you, I was only teasing you because I was hurt that you're the favorite. Now that I have realized that that is not the case, I Feel terrible. I also want to tell you how much I respect you for making such a big decision for promising God that if you have a son, you would have him be a Nazir and do everything that you must do for this to happen. I really hope that you have a son, and if you need help with anything, I would be glad to help. So even though this started out by me being mean by reading your diary and trying to take revenge for you being the favorite, it turned out to me finding respect for you. I hope you forgive me ofr being mean. Love, your sister-wife Peninah

Eli (Randy F.)

Dear diary, Today i went to shuel like i do everyday to dovin but today this akward woman was praying. This woman looked drunk, her lips were moving but no words were coming out of her mouth. I am the one to approach someone if they are drunk in the tablenackle because i believe that it is a sin to be drunk while praying. So i approached the young woman and asked her what he name was and she said "Hannah" who are you married to? "Elkanah" she replied. I asked her one more important question, why are you here and look like you've been drinking? she said, "because i am not able to have a child i ask G-d to grant me one child who i'll make him G-d's servant (a Nazir) anything for me to have a child whom I can love." The next year i see the woman again with a baby and she told me "G-d is my savor and this baby right here is a Nazir for G-d." Hannah told me his name was Shmuel and was going to be a very special child.

Hannah (Sarah Rebecca)

Dear diary, Today I have gone to the holy temple of our land to pray to the lord to give birth to a son. I want to make my husband proud by bearing him a son. In addition it will make my life easier knowing that my husbands other wife, Peninah, will not be able to make fun of me anymore. She made my life so hard, she really doesn't know what it feels like to be the wife who can not bear the greatest gift to her husband, a son. I prayed to God with all my heart. I even had this amazing experience where I did not have to say my prayer out loud I said it within my heart with my soul. I promised to God that if he grants me the joy of having a son that I will dedicate my sons life to him. For he shall never cut his hair or drink wine, he will be a servant of God. Please let me have this son, for that will fulfill my life.


 * Response**: Eli (Randy F.)

Dear diary, Today i found out how Hannah feels about me. I didn't understand how much Hannah wanted a son. I mean like when i asked her if she was drunk because she was praying silently she told me that she wanted a son but i didn't think how serious she really was about her having a baby. Also i didn't know how her life was because i heard that she was having problems with her husband about his other wife who has many children. I hope that she forgives me for being so rude and be firends. Eli

Elkanah (Mike L.)

Dear Jornal, <span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Hello my name is Elkanah <span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Calibri,'Trebuchet MS',Verdana,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">the son of Jeroham, son of Elihu, son of Tohu, son of Zuph. I had a huge problem. See, just a couple months ago my wife was barren. She could not have children for God had closed her womb. As much as I loved and favored Her over Peninah, my other wife, I would have loved her even more if she could have a child. Soon enough my prayers were answered. Recently my wife Hannah has given birth to a son named Samuel. This is a great miracle from God. I often go to worship and to sacrifice to the Lord of hosts at Shiloh. When Samuel is not nursing anymore, Hannah will bring him up and will lend him to the Lord as a Nazir for as long as he lives. A razor shall never touch his face. I do not know exactly how I feel about this since it is the son of my favorite wife. Although God has done a great favor for us and we owe him, but I know I will love this child if we do not give him up. I also know this has to be done but I am writing in this journal just for some venting time and to be able to express my feelings hoping for a little bit of advice from someone or something. If there is anyone out there that can help me overcome this obstacle in life I would greatly appreciate it. Sincerely, <span style="color: #000000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Elkanah

<span style="color: #000000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Response to Elkanah (Mike) from Hannah (Rafe): Dear Elkanah. It warms my heart to know for sure that you love me over your other wife peninah. I'm sorry but the only way I could be sure of this was to check your diary. Furthermore I am so sorry that you have to experience the loss as we lend our only child to the lord for his lifetime. I should have consulted you before making that agreement with G-d. However, now there is nothing I can do. There is no way that I would be able to protect the child from the Lord's grasp. Maybe G-d will give us another child instead but I wouldn't count on it. I'm sorry for my error so thank you for being so lenient and for trying to spare me the pain of hearing these words that you have written. your wife, Hannah

Elkana (Dan C.) Dear Diary, I am facing a major dilemma. You see lately my barren (and favorite) wife has been praying for a child. God being as kind as he is listened to her prayers. She gave birth to a baby boy. This gave me great joy. The child would obviously be my favorite and for my barren wife to have a child was incredible. Through all my happiness I knew that this would not last for my wife Hannah had promised God that she would give this son Samuel to be a Nassir. He would devote his life to God and no razor would ever touch his head. I am outraged by her choice. This child who brought both of us inexpressible joy was to spend his life separated from us. How could she do this to the both of us. We would have raised this son to his fullest potential. He would have brought honor to our family name and she decided to give him away. I don’t understand why she would have bore a child if she couldn’t spend time with him herself. Did she do this to gain respect from me? She was already my favorite and she didn’t need to do anything to prove it. This whole situation has brought me as much grief as joy. Although I would have liked to raise the child with my wife I am still optimistic about his future. He could do great things as a Nassir and be remembered in history. We shall see how the child ‘s life plays out and whether Hannah ever regrets having a son in the first place.

Response to Elkana (Dan C.) Hannah (Mike L.)

Dear Elkana, I am sorry, I read your diary. I was looking to write in my own and accidentally picked up the wrong one. I saw your most recent entry and my heart was filled with emotion that I could not keep in for long. I know you are outraged and devastated about my decision to make our only son a Nazzir but it is all in good intentions and for the best. See, obviously I would not want to just up and give our son away but I had to find some way to thank God for the great gift he gave us of allowing me to not be barren. I disagree that we probably will not conceive again because I strongly believe we will and I have high hopes for our family's future. Hang tight Elkana.

Love, Hannah

Dear Journal,

Its me again, Hannah. Lately I have looked back on my promise to G-d to devout my child’s life to Him, and I think that I made a promise that will be very hard to keep. For what is the point of having a child if he is not to be yours? Now I look back and regret my promise. I would much rather never have a child then have one only to give it up. So why did I make the promise to G-d that fateful day in the temple? I think that I was jealous of Peninnah, and my jealousy got the better of me. Every year she taunted me because of my inability to have a child, but now i realize that I would have been better off just ignoring her. Hopefully, my husband will understand my mistake and I will be able to get through this. But until then, what should I do?

Hannah (Danny N)

<span style="color: #2020ac; font-family: 'Courier New',Courier,monospace;">Hannah (Daniel H.)
<span style="color: #2020ac; font-family: 'Courier New',Courier,monospace;">Dear Diary,

<span style="color: #2020ac; font-family: 'Courier New',Courier,monospace;">In the past I have not been able to concieve a child and it has made me very sad and unloved. Peninnah, Eli’s other wife (Gosh I hate her), always mocks me about how God closed my womb and how she is better than me. When she does this I refuse to eat or drink because I am so upset. Eli comes up to me and is worried about me, but I don’t believe he really cares. When I prayed in my heart Eli thought I was drunk and yelled at me. I prayed that if I had a son I would make him a nazor and give him to the Lord. Then one day, boom, I have a child. Not only a child, but also I have a son. It was one of the happiest days of my life, but also the saddest. For I knew I had to give him to the Lord and I shall not see him. I will not be with you my child, but if you hear me with the Lord, promise me you will be okay. I hope you will come and see me one day.

<span style="color: #2020ac; font-family: 'Courier New',Courier,monospace;">With hope, <span style="color: #2020ac; font-family: 'Courier New',Courier,monospace;">Hannah.

Dear Elkanah (Ethan e.), I know you feel bad about giving many more portions to Pininah, and even though I am not fond of her because she is always rude and mean to me, I understand your actions. She has many children and I have none. I know you would do the same thing for me if I were the wife with 10 children. Please do not feel discomfort any longer. I hope letting you know I understand you will stop your pain from remaining. -Hannah (Jenna O)

Dear journal,

Yesterday I was looking around underneath my husbands straw bed for my pet rock, and I found something very interesting, his journal. For one, I did not even know that my husband kept a journal, but what I found written inside of it was much more surprising: Elkanah is very mad at me for bringing this about on myself! He cannot believe that I made a promise to G-d to dedicate my child's life to being a Nazir!He wishes that I had talked it over with him before making this decision. All of this just adds on to my ever growing list of worries! What should I do?

Hannah (Danny N) Response

Hannah (Tali R) response to Eli (Shmuel C) Dear Diary, The other day I found Eli's diary and I read it. I know I should not have but I did it anyway. In his diary I saw that he talked about me and how I prayed silently. He said that he thought I was drunk because people do not usually pray silently. I knew this was unusual but G-d must have heard me because he gave me what I asked of him. G-d blessed me with the greatest gift, a son. I gave my son to Eli to make a Nazir and maybe I can look at Eli's diary again to see how my son is doing.